Good evening everyone! After a very long absence, I am back, and ready to write (and share) again! The past year has been a whirlwind!
I got my oldest son through his senior year (and fellow moms know how hard that can be)! I enjoyed my last year on the sideline cheering through football and basketball until my son had an injury (patellar dislocation, microfractures of his femur, and a torn medial patellofemoral ligament if you want to know). We got through surgery and rehab, and he graduated in May!
Im proud to say that my son started at UNC Chapel Hill last month! I can honestly say I have struggled with emotionally adjusting to having a son in college, and specifically to letting him go. He has been gone almost a month, and I still tear up when I walk by his room. My whole world was so wrapped up in both my kids that I I feel a huge whole in my mind, heart and schedule with just one child to fuss over. (No whole in my pocketbook though!) I miss just being able to go to his room and ask if he was ok, or to tell him to get off fortnite. I have a longing for the days when my life was all about the hustle and bustle of running between and managing 2 kids at home.
To you moms who have gone through this transition, I applaud you! I am blessed to have veteran moms who have counseled and consoled me. My patients and physician friends have given me some of the best advice, which I will share with you!
1) It's ok to grieve. Cry if you need to, grieve what was, and then LET IT GO. You will miss what was (the business and closeness of living in the same house), but will soon enjoy a new type of relationship with your child as they grow and mature.
2) DON'T BE CLINGY. (This was clearly advice I needed). You can't call or go visit every 5 minutes, because you child should be busy making new friends and a new life on campus. You want them to feel confident to go out into the world without worrying about you (or themselves).
3) Find a way to communicate with them that works for them. I have found text messages work well with my son, and have tried to text him inspirational quotes several times a week (an idea from another physician mom).
4) Still continue to make amazing memories with your child! I got my son to take a weekend trip with me to Canada the weekend before he went to college. It was pulling teeth to get it done, but it was so worth it. We went alone (so my daughter did not come), and just talked, laughed, joked, and saw some amazing things together! We saw Niagara falls, and ate in the CN Tower, which had the best views ever! It gave us both a chance to have some important conversations, and really relish the moment before he was an adult not living in my house! The trip went so well he was willing to do another one with me next year! I really encourage this for all moms!
5) Stay busy! Find something fun to do with your newfound free time that doesn't involve crying into a glass of wine while looking over baby pictures. You now have time to focus on YOU. What do you want? What have you put off?
Which is why I'm back. Back to what I love. Back to writing, living, and loving this journey through life and motherhood.